Ah, Tinder. We love you. We hate you. Our lives just wouldn’t be the same without you.
But you could be improved. Because let’s be honest: no-one wants to go out on a date with someone, only to discover they’re a misogynist dick or they hang the toilet roll the wrong way around. Shudder.
So here are ten things people should be required to disclose on their profiles:
1. How often do they shower? There is a right answer to this.
2. Do they support Trump? If yes, you know what to do. (RUN. And maybe disinfect your phone.)
3. Are they pro-choice? Because arguing about a woman’s right to agency over her own body over a romantic candlelit dinner does not sound like a good time.
4. Are they a cat or a dog person? We have a right to know.
5. Do they prefer to be the big spoon or little spoon? All about that compatibility.
6. Are they capable of paying for things themselves, and do they actually demonstrate that ability from time to time? A scrub is a guy who can’t get no love from me.
7. Do they still live with their parents? See above.
8. Are they OK with dating people who don’t identify as female or male? Of course, we’d already know this if Tinder would sort its discriminatory gender binary system out. “Are you male or female?” Imma let you finish, Tinder, but you’re kinda missing out a whole lot of people in that particular framing.
9. Are they also seeing someone else? Polyamory: Cool, if you and their other partner are down for it. Being a cheating jerk: Nope.
10. Do they believe in absolute equality between the sexes in all things? If the answer is anything other than “yes,” swipe left immediately. No time for that shit.Support Villainesse