Dear Rangitoto College rule-setters,
Thank you for reminding us of the serious issue of girls wearing makeup.
While some might argue that banning girls from wearing makeup in school is pure and simple misogyny, perhaps your policy doesn’t go far enough.
We have a few suggestions that could help you, and the many other schools that are also not keen on girls having agency over their appearance, to take your rules to the next level.
1. Insist that all girls wear sumo suits at all times. No need to worry about teen girls’ bodies if they’re entombed in many inches of foam.
2. If sumo suits aren’t quite the right fit for your educational institute, how about full suits of armour? Nothing like thick steel covering the entire body and face to make everyone exactly alike. As an added bonus, the girls would be well-protected in case of Viking invasion or orc attack.
3. Make girls wear paper bags over their heads with eye and mouth holes cut out. Obviously, you’d need a rule forbidding the decorating or modifying of the paper bags. Because otherwise girls might actually have control over their appearances, and we can’t have that. Self-expression?! What a dangerous idea.
4. Bloody hell, just let girls do what they want with their faces.
What did a bit of concealer and lipgloss ever do to you?